Wednesday, January 12, 2011
Tuesday, January 11, 2011
Letter.
Dear Unknown,
I know you. I know you for sure. Always have. I'm just not too sure about you really. It's not that I don't believe you are who you say you are, but it's not that I believe it either. You've been perfect all my life, so I had come to the conclusion that that's just who you are: perfect. Now, I feel like the world is keeping something from me.
I still hear you & slick feel you...just got a few questions, but you can answer them without saying a word! But I'm not gonna ask. Is that weird?
I can't sing the tune..."If you're out there..." cuz there's no "if" too it. I'm sure you are. You gotta be. #shrug.
Well, my heart is in the air, because that's where my ideas concering you are...
Sincerly,
JaNishia
I know you. I know you for sure. Always have. I'm just not too sure about you really. It's not that I don't believe you are who you say you are, but it's not that I believe it either. You've been perfect all my life, so I had come to the conclusion that that's just who you are: perfect. Now, I feel like the world is keeping something from me.
I still hear you & slick feel you...just got a few questions, but you can answer them without saying a word! But I'm not gonna ask. Is that weird?
I can't sing the tune..."If you're out there..." cuz there's no "if" too it. I'm sure you are. You gotta be. #shrug.
Well, my heart is in the air, because that's where my ideas concering you are...
Sincerly,
JaNishia
Monday, January 10, 2011
hmmm.
is thinking......How do these seasonal relationships work? What's the biggest clue that the season has ended? I don't wanna try to recreate something that has expired...
I mean, I've been thinking about some of my best friends in life! & how we got close & just how close we were...
But as smooth as the relationship formed, it slowly dissolved. Amazing how that works...
I had a dream last night that my relationship with my sister faded...& it hurt me. I mean, yu always swear yu'll always be there for each other & will remain close, without knowing that LIFE has different plans for the both of yu...
Sucks, huh?
It's LIFE.
I mean, I've been thinking about some of my best friends in life! & how we got close & just how close we were...
But as smooth as the relationship formed, it slowly dissolved. Amazing how that works...
I had a dream last night that my relationship with my sister faded...& it hurt me. I mean, yu always swear yu'll always be there for each other & will remain close, without knowing that LIFE has different plans for the both of yu...
Sucks, huh?
It's LIFE.
Tuesday, December 28, 2010
Black Tie.Black Suit.
I read a quote...& it went like this...
"A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist."-Stewart Alsop
This was the quote I needed to hear after becoming addicted to Tye Tribbett's song "Eulogy". Here are some of the lyrics...
"I'm doing my own eulogy...seems like everyone's sad except me...
seems something like a release cause I'm finally free...
Gotta let you go now, you've been hanging on for way too long...
You been taking me down...you and me will never get along...
So goodbye...so long...
Nothing good came out of me and you...that's why it's so easy for me to choose...there's only one thing left for me to do...and that's die to you"...
These lyrics paired with that quote equates to something rather powerful. To die to self...
"If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." Matthew 16:24.
There's another quote I read a while ago that stuck with me...
"The main problem with Christians is that they try to live Christ's life without first dying Christ's death."
That's real! What's the point of reading God's word to claim ALL the promises detailed inside and praying his prayers for your selfish desires if you're still "doing you"...Blessings are stored up for the righteous! Not saying God doesn't still love you; just saying you're out of line! There's a death that needs to take place so that live can begin...& it's yours...
"My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20.
"A dying man needs to die, as a sleepy man needs to sleep, and there comes a time when it is wrong, as well as useless, to resist."-Stewart Alsop
This was the quote I needed to hear after becoming addicted to Tye Tribbett's song "Eulogy". Here are some of the lyrics...
"I'm doing my own eulogy...seems like everyone's sad except me...
seems something like a release cause I'm finally free...
Gotta let you go now, you've been hanging on for way too long...
You been taking me down...you and me will never get along...
So goodbye...so long...
Nothing good came out of me and you...that's why it's so easy for me to choose...there's only one thing left for me to do...and that's die to you"...
These lyrics paired with that quote equates to something rather powerful. To die to self...
"If anyone wishes to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me." Matthew 16:24.
There's another quote I read a while ago that stuck with me...
"The main problem with Christians is that they try to live Christ's life without first dying Christ's death."
That's real! What's the point of reading God's word to claim ALL the promises detailed inside and praying his prayers for your selfish desires if you're still "doing you"...Blessings are stored up for the righteous! Not saying God doesn't still love you; just saying you're out of line! There's a death that needs to take place so that live can begin...& it's yours...
"My old self has been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me. So I live in this earthly body by trusting in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Galatians 2:20.
Wheew!
What a place God has brought me too...
I've had some unproductive days...(the last four days to be exact)...but it was necessary. I learned a lot about myself. Mainly that if I'm not working towards a goal, I'm regressing. There's no "in between" with me, JaNishia Marie Chantel Grinston. There is no "just chilling"...it's too much out here...it's too much "unnaturalness"....(yes, I made it up) within me. Too much pride in my heart that rages against God.
I came to the conclusion that pride is going to be my life long enemy. It's my "thorn in the flesh." It's like spiritual cancer...if not caught & dealt with, it's going to spread to every area of my life. So, I'ma spiritual cancer patient...every issue & struggle I have & ever had can be narrowed down to PRIDE. Therefore, in order to survive, I have to be on meds for the rest of my life, or death will be eneviatable.
Death is simply seperation from God. Like when Adam & Eve ate of the tree...they didn't become DECEASED, but they DID however experience death. God use to walk the garden like it was nothing! & then they were put out. seperated! And how the bible says you'll either experience eternal life with God in Heaven or eternal death in Hell---> separation! So that's death...& that's the death I will experience if I die from this cancer.
You can't tell me pride doesn't separate you from God! When I know I'm not doing right by God, pride makes me the most comfortable heathen in the world! But that's tricky, because I get so comfortable that I ain't tryna pursue God & only give Him the time of day when he chooses to impose into my world. That's sad...because who says He has to? And sometimes He doesn't...
That's separation. That's death.
So how do I maintain life with this pride being the thorn in my side? It's simple. By digesting the Words of Life: my meds. I got to get into my word to keep this thing from spreading and to work towards the root of its existence. I have to combat these unnatural things growing inside of me. But just as with any medication, there are side effects:
I gotta take my meds! Or it's goodbye to my purpose, my relationships, my reason for living...
I've had some unproductive days...(the last four days to be exact)...but it was necessary. I learned a lot about myself. Mainly that if I'm not working towards a goal, I'm regressing. There's no "in between" with me, JaNishia Marie Chantel Grinston. There is no "just chilling"...it's too much out here...it's too much "unnaturalness"....(yes, I made it up) within me. Too much pride in my heart that rages against God.
I came to the conclusion that pride is going to be my life long enemy. It's my "thorn in the flesh." It's like spiritual cancer...if not caught & dealt with, it's going to spread to every area of my life. So, I'ma spiritual cancer patient...every issue & struggle I have & ever had can be narrowed down to PRIDE. Therefore, in order to survive, I have to be on meds for the rest of my life, or death will be eneviatable.
Death is simply seperation from God. Like when Adam & Eve ate of the tree...they didn't become DECEASED, but they DID however experience death. God use to walk the garden like it was nothing! & then they were put out. seperated! And how the bible says you'll either experience eternal life with God in Heaven or eternal death in Hell---> separation! So that's death...& that's the death I will experience if I die from this cancer.
You can't tell me pride doesn't separate you from God! When I know I'm not doing right by God, pride makes me the most comfortable heathen in the world! But that's tricky, because I get so comfortable that I ain't tryna pursue God & only give Him the time of day when he chooses to impose into my world. That's sad...because who says He has to? And sometimes He doesn't...
That's separation. That's death.
So how do I maintain life with this pride being the thorn in my side? It's simple. By digesting the Words of Life: my meds. I got to get into my word to keep this thing from spreading and to work towards the root of its existence. I have to combat these unnatural things growing inside of me. But just as with any medication, there are side effects:
- Love
- Joy
- Peace
- Forbearance
- Gentleness
- Self Control
I gotta take my meds! Or it's goodbye to my purpose, my relationships, my reason for living...
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