Wheew!

What a place God has brought me too...

I've had some unproductive days...(the last four days to be exact)...but it was necessary. I learned a lot about myself. Mainly that if I'm not working towards a goal, I'm regressing. There's no "in between" with me, JaNishia Marie Chantel Grinston. There is no "just chilling"...it's too much out here...it's too much "unnaturalness"....(yes, I made it up) within me. Too much pride in my heart that rages against God.

I came to the conclusion that pride is going to be my life long enemy. It's my "thorn in the flesh." It's like spiritual cancer...if not caught & dealt with, it's going to spread to every area of my life. So, I'ma spiritual cancer patient...every issue & struggle I have & ever had can be narrowed down to PRIDE. Therefore, in order to survive, I have to be on meds for the rest of my life, or death will be eneviatable.

Death is simply seperation from God. Like when Adam & Eve ate of the tree...they didn't become DECEASED, but they DID however experience death. God use to walk the garden like it was nothing! & then they were put out. seperated! And how the bible says you'll either experience eternal life with God in Heaven or eternal death in Hell---> separation! So that's death...& that's the death I will experience if I die from this cancer.

You can't tell me pride doesn't separate you from God! When I know I'm not doing right by God, pride makes me the most comfortable heathen in the world! But that's tricky, because I get so comfortable that I ain't tryna pursue God & only give Him the time of day when he chooses to impose into my world. That's sad...because who says He has to? And sometimes He doesn't...

That's separation. That's death.

So how do I maintain life with this pride being the thorn in my side? It's simple. By digesting the Words of Life: my meds. I got to get into my word to keep this thing from spreading and to work towards the root of its existence. I have to combat these unnatural things growing inside of me. But just as with any medication, there are side effects:

• Love
• Joy
• Peace
• Forbearance
• Gentleness
• Self Control

*Galatians 5:22-23.

I gotta take my meds! Or it's goodbye to my purpose, my relationships, my reason for living...