The strength to my stride.
My pillow to my blanket of sin
My ultimate spot to hide.
He tells me come out…
And I swear I’ve tried
It’s just who I am.
It’s just where I reside…
It’s my answer to low self esteem…
My reassurance that I’m “okay” with things.
It’s my band-aid to reoccurring pain.
To be honest, it’s my everything…
Therefore, no one can tell me anything.
Fiber of my being…
But God hated what He was seeing...
Conviction hit me hard…
And I knew I was being challenged to change.
But the harder I tried,
The more I felt forced to stay the same.
Realized that it was my comfort zones that kept me in one place…
& actually made me believe I was safe.
Lies...
I’ve never been so deceived.
I chose the greatest offense to God.
And chose it with such ease.
He showed me if I didn’t do better, pride would be the death of me…
& I could never be what He call'd me to be.
So I did the hardest thing...
I fell to my knees.
I was guilty. Couldn’t debate it.
He told me arrogance was evil, for Lucifer created it.
I told Him I want’d security, but couldn’t locate it.
And I became plagued by everything I hated.
But I continued to try…
And as I continued to fail, I continued to cry…
Feeling the knot tighten inside…
The thought that “I’d never be free” was clearly implied…
But God.
Broke me down like only He could.
Went to the source of the problem like the therapist should.
Regenerated me new like His word said He would.
Healed me from the pain of my girlhood.
Made things clear to me that only He understood.
Broke the curse of the proud look.
Now I move freely.
Answering what I was called to be.
Knowing that the only person that can fulfill my assignment is me.
And knowing that I’ll only find strength on my knees.
I pray that He is pleased.
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