That hit me hard! Harder than I expected it to...so I decided to call it a night.
I knew very well what I was doing; I was giving up.
I lied down and cried...& just lied there...knowing that I wasn't going to feel any stronger in the morning if I went to sleep that way...(& that made me cry harder.) Knowing I should get up, but strength was no where to be found. So, I just lied there...acknowledging the fact that I'm physically (& spiritually) tired...acknowledging that I'm hurt & that I have every right to be...I'm discouraged & feel as if I can't go on...but then I remembered how my aunt explained to me how important it is to deal with unforgiveness and anger before proceeding to the next day. So then I knew I had to do something...
Miraculously, strength arrived. So, I got up. I realized that everyone hurts...& whether the pain is intentional or not, everyone needs a Saviour. Needs the Saviour. Therefore, who am I to not forgive?
It hurts, but I can't be in my feelings during this season...during this process. So, God...take my withered heart and just hold it for me. Because I don't want it in my hands during this time...
I Love You.
& with everything (that's not in me), I trust You.
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