Friday, October 15, 2010
Mini-Epiphany.
You can truly see what has an hold on you when you consider the consequences before you act, & still choose to act...& you never realize what's hindering you until you strive to grow...you never can see what's really around you until you hit the light...
I got a lot of "doors of opportunities" in front of me at this very moment...very minute...very second. But in order to step through those doors, I have to step out of the rooms that I'm in at this very moment...very minute...very second. & I have to close the door.
I've been talking to my sisters about the door posts I'm standing in as of now...seems as though several of them have been in the exact same spot. Knowing what's holding them...knowing what has them bound...and not necessarily being kool with it, but accepting it...more or less...
Funny how the light from the rooms ahead of me cast shadows in the room that I'm currently considering leaving...also making things in this current room look much bigger, closer, and stronger than I've heard they should be...my reality is distorted. THANK GOD for my sisters...
To even consider stepping a foot outside of this room will mean moving more towards the light...which means becoming more vulnerable...more open...more exposed...
But the light is a gentle light...bright enough to captivate your attention, but not to the point where you can't look into it...it seems to bring a calmness over you and begins to draw you...draw you in...draw you in...until you're in...
Knowing this, I still stand in my door post...starring at the rooms ahead...knowing I gotta make a move...
I think it's about time I make my move.
I got a lot of "doors of opportunities" in front of me at this very moment...very minute...very second. But in order to step through those doors, I have to step out of the rooms that I'm in at this very moment...very minute...very second. & I have to close the door.
I've been talking to my sisters about the door posts I'm standing in as of now...seems as though several of them have been in the exact same spot. Knowing what's holding them...knowing what has them bound...and not necessarily being kool with it, but accepting it...more or less...
Funny how the light from the rooms ahead of me cast shadows in the room that I'm currently considering leaving...also making things in this current room look much bigger, closer, and stronger than I've heard they should be...my reality is distorted. THANK GOD for my sisters...
To even consider stepping a foot outside of this room will mean moving more towards the light...which means becoming more vulnerable...more open...more exposed...
But the light is a gentle light...bright enough to captivate your attention, but not to the point where you can't look into it...it seems to bring a calmness over you and begins to draw you...draw you in...draw you in...until you're in...
Knowing this, I still stand in my door post...starring at the rooms ahead...knowing I gotta make a move...
I think it's about time I make my move.
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Story of Pain.
1997: Once upon time,...pain walk'd into JaNishia's life. Introduced himself & they became very familiar with each other...she was shocked to find pain there...how in THE WORLD did it find its way in?? Both of her parents were in the home...they were regular church goers...but pain found all the cracks and filled them...
2010: Pain has been fruitful and multiplied and made it's home in JaNishia's heart...it has built a wall that will only let some in and let the others only so close...it controls all of her emotions...and when pain is about to be exposed, it releases anger to completely mask what's really there: pain. & at this point, when he makes his usual apperances, she doesn't even acknowledge him...it's awkward for her...she's dealt with an "elephant in the room" for over ten years...avoiding pain is second nature to her.
pain is very inferior to God tho...when He comes in, pain muse flee...that's why whenever JaNishia gets into His presence, all she can do is cry...& cry...& cry...the hard, ugly cry because God is push'n the pain to the surface so that He can fill her completely...God is forcing pain back to hell, because those cracks, those vacant cracks, belong to Him.
2010: Pain has been fruitful and multiplied and made it's home in JaNishia's heart...it has built a wall that will only let some in and let the others only so close...it controls all of her emotions...and when pain is about to be exposed, it releases anger to completely mask what's really there: pain. & at this point, when he makes his usual apperances, she doesn't even acknowledge him...it's awkward for her...she's dealt with an "elephant in the room" for over ten years...avoiding pain is second nature to her.
pain is very inferior to God tho...when He comes in, pain muse flee...that's why whenever JaNishia gets into His presence, all she can do is cry...& cry...& cry...the hard, ugly cry because God is push'n the pain to the surface so that He can fill her completely...God is forcing pain back to hell, because those cracks, those vacant cracks, belong to Him.
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
quick note.
Life is good. That's all I can really say...things are DEFINITELY not "peachy keen" but they're barable...all is well. I've found by way back to God...so all is possible...♥
Monday, August 2, 2010
Effort.
Soooo! Lately, I've been lazy. #iconfess. No matter what is suggested of me or to me, I keep finding myself saying..."That takes effort." & I don't do it. Either I've been given everything in my life & never really had to work for anything...(has a bit of truth to it)...or I'm extremely lazy...(has a lot of bit of truth to it)...AND I just may NEVER make anything out of my life if I continue in this way of thinking/living...(truth).
I was in prayer last nite, & God made somethings quite clear for me. It doesn't take effort to walk away from Him, but it takes effort to stay away from Him...just as it takes effort to STAY with Him. So, which one just makes waaay more sense??!!
The reason it doesn't take effort to walk away is because we're turning back to the things that are "natural" for us. Sin is natural for us. It comes naturally, so it takes no effort...BUT it takes effort to continue in sin, when you know you need to get back to God. You FIND things to do...shows to watch...search for songs to listen to to keep you occupied...because you know what's up! & it's not that you're running from it...you're just not heading back to Him as of right now...
And without question, it DEFINITELY takes effort to stay with God...to keep trust'n Him, deny'n yourself, keep'n His commands, etc. EFFORT!! But which makes more sense?!?! I look'd up the word "effort" and a synonym for it was: struggle. haa! think it's a coincidence that the words effort and struggle are synonymous? Not at all. They go together...so put them together!! Put effort towards defeating what you struggle with & you'll win!!
Quick SN: God set your life up for you! Granted, He's allowed you to go through things that have produced your current struggles, BUT he PROMISED you that you win! He's gone before you and defeated the evil one & unarmed his imps and principalities...and has empowered you through His word to continue to defeat him......it's as if God said..."All you have to do is give a little effort; I did everything else." And we can't do that?! C'mon.........(really fussing at myself, but I know I'm not alone!)
But back to what we were talking about...I choose to put effort into staying with God than to put effort into staying away from Him.
God Bless Ya'll
♥
I was in prayer last nite, & God made somethings quite clear for me. It doesn't take effort to walk away from Him, but it takes effort to stay away from Him...just as it takes effort to STAY with Him. So, which one just makes waaay more sense??!!
The reason it doesn't take effort to walk away is because we're turning back to the things that are "natural" for us. Sin is natural for us. It comes naturally, so it takes no effort...BUT it takes effort to continue in sin, when you know you need to get back to God. You FIND things to do...shows to watch...search for songs to listen to to keep you occupied...because you know what's up! & it's not that you're running from it...you're just not heading back to Him as of right now...
And without question, it DEFINITELY takes effort to stay with God...to keep trust'n Him, deny'n yourself, keep'n His commands, etc. EFFORT!! But which makes more sense?!?! I look'd up the word "effort" and a synonym for it was: struggle. haa! think it's a coincidence that the words effort and struggle are synonymous? Not at all. They go together...so put them together!! Put effort towards defeating what you struggle with & you'll win!!
Quick SN: God set your life up for you! Granted, He's allowed you to go through things that have produced your current struggles, BUT he PROMISED you that you win! He's gone before you and defeated the evil one & unarmed his imps and principalities...and has empowered you through His word to continue to defeat him......it's as if God said..."All you have to do is give a little effort; I did everything else." And we can't do that?! C'mon.........(really fussing at myself, but I know I'm not alone!)
But back to what we were talking about...I choose to put effort into staying with God than to put effort into staying away from Him.
God Bless Ya'll
♥
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